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It is time to change the meaning of the word 'love.'

The word is mostly used according to the first definition given in the dictionary: 'an intense feeling of deep affection.' In other words, love is what one feels.

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After years spent speaking with couples before, during and after marriage; and of talking to parents and children struggling with their relationships, I am convinced of the partiality of the definition. Love should be seen not as a feeling but as an enacted emotion. To love is to feel and act lovingly.

Too many women have told me, bruises visible on their faces, that the husbands who struck them love them. Since they see love as a feeling, the word hides the truth, which is that you do not love someone whom you repeatedly beat and abuse. You may have very strong feelings about them, you may even believe you cannot live without them, but you do not love them. Captain phillips srt english subtitle.

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The first love mentioned in the Bible is not romantic love, but parental love (Genesis 22). When a child is born, the parent's reaction to this person, who so recently did not exist, is to feel that 'I would do anything for her.' In the doing is the love—the feeling is enacted. That is why we often hear the phrase 'you don't act like you love me.' We know in our bones that love is not a feeling alone, but a feeling that flows into the world in action.

Between human beings, love is a relational word. Yes, you can love things that do not love you back—the sky or a mountain or a painting or the game of chess. But the love of other people is directional. There is a lover and a beloved—you don't just love, but you love at someone. And real love is not only about the feelings of the lover; it is not egotism. It is when one person believes in another person and shows it.

In Fiddler on the Roof, when Tevye asks Golde whether she loves him after a quarter century of marriage, her wry answer is exactly on point:

Of course it is possible to perform all sorts of duties for someone and feel little or nothing for them. Love is not about being hired help. Love is not an obligation done with a cold soul. But neither is it a passion that expresses itself in cruelty, or one that does not express itself at all. The feeling must be wedded to the deed.

We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. The poet's song is dazzling and the passion powerful, but the deepest beauty of love is how it changes lives.

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TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary on events in news, society, and culture. We welcome outside contributions. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of TIME editors.
Read Next
What Whitney Houston's National Anthem Taught Me About America
Next Up: Editor's Pick
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EDIT POSTQuestion: 'What is agape love?'
Answer:

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The Greek word agape is often translated 'love' in the New Testament. How is 'agape love' different from other types of love? The essence of agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object of love. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New Testament to refer to romantic or sexual love. Nor does it refer to close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is used. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty moral nature and strong character. Agape love is beautifully described in 1 Corinthians 13.
Outside of the New Testament, the word agape

Love Definition

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is used in a variety of contexts, but in the vast majority of instances in the New Testament it carries distinct meaning. Agape is almost always used to describe the love that is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself: 'God is love' (1 John 4:8). God does not merely love; He is love itself. Everything God does flows from His love. Agape is also used to describe our love for God (Luke 10:27), a servant's faithful respect to his master (Matthew 6:24), and a man's attachment to things (John 3:19).
The type of love that characterizes God is not a sappy, sentimental feeling such as we often hear portrayed. God loves because that is His nature and the expression of His being. He loves the unlovable and the unlovely, not because we deserve to be loved or because of any excellence we possess, but because it is His nature to love and He must be true to His nature.
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The first love mentioned in the Bible is not romantic love, but parental love (Genesis 22). When a child is born, the parent's reaction to this person, who so recently did not exist, is to feel that 'I would do anything for her.' In the doing is the love—the feeling is enacted. That is why we often hear the phrase 'you don't act like you love me.' We know in our bones that love is not a feeling alone, but a feeling that flows into the world in action.

Between human beings, love is a relational word. Yes, you can love things that do not love you back—the sky or a mountain or a painting or the game of chess. But the love of other people is directional. There is a lover and a beloved—you don't just love, but you love at someone. And real love is not only about the feelings of the lover; it is not egotism. It is when one person believes in another person and shows it.

In Fiddler on the Roof, when Tevye asks Golde whether she loves him after a quarter century of marriage, her wry answer is exactly on point:

Of course it is possible to perform all sorts of duties for someone and feel little or nothing for them. Love is not about being hired help. Love is not an obligation done with a cold soul. But neither is it a passion that expresses itself in cruelty, or one that does not express itself at all. The feeling must be wedded to the deed.

We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. The poet's song is dazzling and the passion powerful, but the deepest beauty of love is how it changes lives.

Sign up for Inside TIME. Be the first to see the new cover of TIME and get our most compelling stories delivered straight to your inbox.

Thank you!

For your security, we've sent a confirmation email to the address you entered. Click the link to confirm your subscription and begin receiving our newsletters. If you don't get the confirmation within 10 minutes, please check your spam folder.
TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary on events in news, society, and culture. We welcome outside contributions. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of TIME editors.
Read Next
What Whitney Houston's National Anthem Taught Me About America
Next Up: Editor's Pick
Joe Biden and Kamala Harris Are TIME's 2020 Person of the Year
EDIT POSTQuestion: 'What is agape love?'
Answer:

Love & War Mp3 Song Download Pagalworld

The Greek word agape is often translated 'love' in the New Testament. How is 'agape love' different from other types of love? The essence of agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object of love. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New Testament to refer to romantic or sexual love. Nor does it refer to close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is used. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty moral nature and strong character. Agape love is beautifully described in 1 Corinthians 13.
Outside of the New Testament, the word agape

Love Definition

is used in a variety of contexts, but in the vast majority of instances in the New Testament it carries distinct meaning. Agape is almost always used to describe the love that is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself: 'God is love' (1 John 4:8). God does not merely love; He is love itself. Everything God does flows from His love. Agape is also used to describe our love for God (Luke 10:27), a servant's faithful respect to his master (Matthew 6:24), and a man's attachment to things (John 3:19).
The type of love that characterizes God is not a sappy, sentimental feeling such as we often hear portrayed. God loves because that is His nature and the expression of His being. He loves the unlovable and the unlovely, not because we deserve to be loved or because of any excellence we possess, but because it is His nature to love and He must be true to His nature.
Agape love is always shown by what it does. God's love is displayed most clearly at the cross. 'God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved' (Ephesians 2:4–5, ESV). We did not deserve such a sacrifice, 'but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us' (Romans 5:8). God's agape love is unmerited, gracious, and constantly seeking the benefit of the ones He loves. The Bible says we are the undeserving recipients of His lavish agape love (1 John 3:1). God's demonstration of agape love led to the sacrifice of the Son of God for those He loves.
We are to love others with agape love, whether they are fellow believers (John 13:34) or bitter enemies (Matthew 5:44). Jesus gave the parable of the Good Samaritan as an example of sacrifice for the sake of others, even for those who may care nothing at all for us. Agape love as modeled by Christ is not based on a feeling; rather, it is a determined act of the will, a joyful resolve to put the welfare of others above our own.

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Agape love does not come naturally to us. Because of our fallen nature, we are incapable of producing such a love. If we are to love as God loves, that love—that agape—can only come from its Source. This is the love that 'has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us' when we became His children (Romans 5:5; cf. Galatians 5:22). 'This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters' (1 John 3:16). Because of God's love toward us, we are able to love one another.

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